Fictional Fridays #4

Writing 300 words sounds like a breeze, right? Wrong, especially when you’re weighed down by an illness and your brain is sluggish to respond. So, if this post isn’t up to the mark, I suggest you blame the rhinovirus.

I’m combining two prompts again, although I’ve slightly modified one of them – FRIDAY FICTION with RONOVAN WRITES Prompt Challenge #11 and Time to Write: Sentence Starter 6 by Rachel Poli. Excellent prompts, as usual. I’m picking up Vivian’s story again with this post.

A Perfect Illusion – Part 4

A Hidden Longing

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

As the lyrics of her favourite song filled Vivian’s right ear, she looked up shyly at Darel, who had the other end of the earphones. His eyes were closed in concentration and his body rocked slightly to the rhythm. His demeanor indicated that he liked it, but she asked him for an opinion as the music stopped all the same.

He replied with a question of his own. “Why do you like it?”

She shrugged as her mind scrambled for a response. “It makes me feel special.”

The corners of his mouth twitched into a controlled smile. “Why would you need reminding? I’m sure your life keeps throwing the fact in your face a dozen times a day.”

“Not lately, no.” Her voice was almost a whisper. “I’m only being told repeatedly that I’m not what I once was.”

“People change, Vivian,” he stated, but it did little to soothe her worries.

“Do you know what happens to old stars?”

“It depends on their size, of course. Some become a white dwarf, like our Sun…”

“… And some turn into a supernova,” she finished, impatiently. “I feel like a fading star. I don’t want to explode.”

“Stars shine for billions of years. I wouldn’t worry.” His voice faltered and faded.

Vivian woke to the sound of Abigail sneezing in the bed above her. She wiped the sheen of sweat from her forehead.

‘Nobody will volunteer to become your friend after spending one day with you,’ she told herself sternly as she closed her eyes a second time that night.


 

The song mentioned in the story is Firework by Katy Perry. If it’s unfamiliar to you, I’d strongly suggest that you listen. The lyrics are uplifting and inspiring.

I hope this furthered your understanding of Vivian’s character. She’s a lot like Alex from Modern Family (I’d recommend S05E12 if you haven’t seen it already).

I have questions about my writing that I’d like you to answer honestly to help me get better, which will change with each post. How original do you think my writing style is? Leave a comment to let me know. I hear hot soup calling, so I’ll be taking your leave now.

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11 thoughts on “Fictional Fridays #4

  1. I’m not certain if you are really wanting to know about your writing style. I think perhaps the important things is your writing voice. You definitely have a style that is different from the others that enter. If anyone put yours and mine side by side on the exact same subject with everything identical but using our own words for dialogue and inner thoughts, there would be a distinction.

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  2. Pingback: Friday Fiction with Ronovan Writes Prompt #11 Entries: THE LINKS | ronovanwrites

  3. Pingback: Time to Write: Introductions | Rachel Poli

  4. Hey! I got to you through Rachel Poli’s blog. She’s doing amazing things that side and hope you visit her blog often for those prompts. I know I am.

    As for your writing style, I think it’s great. My greatest weakness is dialogue and adding character to the dialogue through painting what’s happening during the conversation, and you have done it really well. I haven’t read an of your previous posts but I already get a sense of Vivian’s character just from 300 words.

    Well done and keep it up!

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