I spend a lot of time reminiscing, I don’t deny, for it is easier to imagine an age where the biggest decisions I had to make was the brand of chocolate I wanted that week. I wish I was still that little, that carefree and that sure of my choices. As the years passed, the impact of my decisions got larger and larger. Now I’m faced with the worst of them all – what am I going to do with my life?
I started the last year of my undergrad today and I still feel a little lost. Frequently I ask myself how grown-ups think 21 is the ripe age to thrust such a choice on unsuspecting students still trying to figure out what they like and what they don’t. While I mostly have my likes and dislikes sorted, I’m still thinking and re-thinking my life choices. I often wondered how I ended up where I am today. My carefully laid plans when I was just a teenager probably would have gotten me to space (and maybe back) by now, but they haven’t. How can I trust that these plans made by the same person might help me accomplish my goals?
The conversation in my mind right now is something like this: “What subjects do you want to study this semester?” “I don’t know.” “What project do you want to take up?” “I’m not sure.” “Are you going to sit for the recruitment test of XYZ company?” “Ask me later.” I never had a magic 8-ball, but I’m pretty sure even that would be more helpful than my brain at the moment.
I’m sure my subconscious has all the right answers to all my questions somewhere, but it is a shy creature. However, that doesn’t mean I’ve to neglect the opinion of the analytical part of my brain either, for it is well-versed in worldly matters. There’s some more information stored away carefully in my memory too – advice by elders, peers, articles, life experiences and so on. All of them fight to be the loudest and the most influential voice. Amidst the cacophony and chaos, all sight of reason is lost. But there is still hope. There’s a good chance that all those different parts do agree upon something. I only have to find that sweet spot where the discordant sounds merge into an orchestra.
Therefore, like the countless fictional characters before me, I shall embark on the epic journey of finding that harmony. I will find a way to slay that demon called doubt and learn to trust my instincts. I will stop by the fountain of confidence and take a good, long sip. I will meander through uncharted lands and the darkest corners of mind. I will successfully complete my quest and promise to go back to writing better posts in the future.
Are you currently in the middle of an important decision-making process? Can you relate to being clueless and confused? What got you through that phase? How do you usually make a choice? Let me know in the comments section below!