Mind Chatter


This isn’t what I wanted to write about at all. I think last night I’d decided on anger. (You really should’ve gone with that.) Then I wanted to talk about depression. (That book was totally out of your comfort zone.) After that, I saw a friend was struggling with anxiety and was tempted to discuss that. (Let’s go on Twitter again!) In the morning, I woke up to another friend being mad at me because I did the right thing and I thought that could span an entire post. (It couldn’t have.) I picked up the newspaper and read so much about Holi that I texted a third friend about how it is overrated. She suggested I should talk about it in my blog post for today. (You should mention her name – she’d like that.) It so happened that when I opened up my laptop and saw the new layout in WordPress, I started typing about something else entirely. (Why does everything have to change? You should write about that.)

This indecisiveness is not a new phenomenon. I’m sure everyone has experienced it at some point in their lives – from kids trying to decide which toy they can’t live without to a university student picking a major. (Don’t give any more examples or you’ll bore everyone.) The mind is an impulsive, reckless creature that whispers constantly in your head. (Wait, what?!) Sometimes it sounds just like you, sometimes like the people you love and sometimes like the fairy godmother you wish you had. (Ooh, fairy tales! Can we take a break to check the movie timings of The Beauty and the Beast?) It doesn’t matter what new avatar it takes because it’s always there. Have you ever tried not having a thought? (What good can possibly come of that?) I remember my principal in school asking us to do that as we sat with our eyes closed for a minute one fine morning. Of course, we all failed spectacularly with an F-. (Are you sure that’s a real grade? You should Google it.)

Complete and utter silence is a myth for most people. Apparently, meditation is capable of shutting out that voice. (Like you’d know.) I believe it’s only a temporary lull before the mind returns with a vengeance. It is incessantly observing, judging, classifying, qualifying and colouring every sensory input with its bias. (Hey!) I’m not convinced it is always a good thing. If my mind could be gagged for any length of time, I’m sure I’d be twice as productive as I normally am. (Why don’t you throw in some more unverifiable facts while you’re at it?While I await the sweet comfort of sleep that is the only effective cure for a bad case of mind chatter, I still have to deal with it in my waking moments. Sometimes I get so engrossed in what I’m doing that I experience those rare moments of mental silence.

But it’s not a bad thing to have that voice in your head, per se. (You couldn’t have got to this part sooner?) Who would we be without it? Just a body with no personality or individuality or curiosity or any of the endearing qualities that make us the fallible humans we are. It is as vital a part of our mental make-up as the heart is to our physical one. Can you imagine the terror if your heart suddenly ceased its steady rhythm? Mental silence has the same unnerving effect. Whether it’s humming a melody you absolutely hate on repeat or nagging at you as you attempt to craft a halfway decent blog post, it’s the one faithful companion that defines you.

Writing an uncensored stream of consciousness piece is perhaps the most bold I’ll ever get on my blog. Let me know what you thought about this bizarre and hopefully unique post in the comments section below.

10 thoughts on “Mind Chatter

  1. First of all, great job with this post. The back-and-forth between you and the other voice in your head is done so well and is so accurate.

    Second, I can relate. My brain has been my worst enemy lately, to the point that I’ve been having anxiety about writing. I don’t feel like I’m any good at it at the moment. 😦 So it’s been affecting my progress on The Novella, and I’m dreading the remaining beta feedback that’s due in for TKC. It’s not totally rational (I’ve gotten some great compliments on TKC as well as insightful comments on what might make it stronger or more logical in spots), but some days I have trouble staying rational. So I’ve been taking time away from writing and social media to relax myself and do “exercises” to help me maintain a more positive and realistic perspective on things. Changing the way you think isn’t easy, but sometimes you have to try for the sake of your well-being.

    Hope I didn’t get too off-topic there… but in short, Brain and Me haven’t been getting along too well lately.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The inner voice can be very hard to shut off at times, especially when it’s being negative. I can totally understand that. Out of curiosity, what exercises are you doing? If they’re helping you, then I would like to know a few because I go through such periods as well.
      I’m not sure if this might help, but from whatever I have gathered from your blog posts and other posts on DIY MFA and WHW, I think the strengths of your writing are clarity of thought, insightful explanations and in-depth analysis of any subject. From the few excerpts of TKC that I’ve read, I’ve always felt curious to read more and the writing style feels comfortable to me. You know how some writing just doesn’t flow when you try to read and keeps jarring you out of the story? It had none of those qualities. So, I hope you’ll continue writing and gain confidence in the way you write because you have at least one fan who’s asking for more. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m still experimenting, tbh. I bought a couple different books (one on mindfulness, the other an anxiety / phobia workbook) that I’ve just started to read through. But I’m also trying two journaling techniques. One was suggested to me by one of my former college professors, and involves writing out a dialogue between you and your anxiety / fear. The other (which I came up with myself) is a step-by-step process where I acknowledge my current feelings, ask myself why I feel that way, allow the feelings and thoughts to pass, then respond to the anxiety- / fear-based thoughts in a rational manner with positive / more realistic thinking, reminders that certain things are beyond my control and that’s OK, and maybe some constructive steps on what to do about the problem (if something about it is within my control).

        If I find anything interesting or helpful as I read through my new books, I’ll let you know. 😉

        About the writing / compliments: Thank you, Nandini. (*hugs*) I’m not sure what else to say in response, but I appreciate your insights more than I can say.

        Liked by 1 person

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